Stetson's Aren't Made For Yankees
by Aoshi'sgirlinstraightjacket
Summary: Goku and Piccolo are cowboys who just saved the life of high-class yankee, Bulma, and her two prized mares. They are now after Vegeta who terrorized Bulma in the first place. But is it really Bulma's mares he's after or something completely different?


Another new story. This one is dedicated to one of my best friends, Erren, also known as BluetheBloodyBaron.

Disclaimer: I don't own this one either.

Chapter One

The dust rose from the ground as two horses clopped across the earth. This was a dry summer for Arkansas and it seemed to get hotter every second.

Two self-claimed cowboys sat atop the horses; one whistling a tune and the other sitting solemnly deep in the saddle.

"I spy with my little eye..." the more cheerful one said, squinting his eyes. To his left, his partner glared at him.

"I swear to God, Goku. We've been playing this game for the last three towns and you've only said two colors. If it's green, it's me and if it's black and white it's my horse." he said while patting the steed's neck. "Now stop this damn nonsense."

The man named Goku gawked at him. "Wow Piccolo, you're good."

The green man rolled his eyes and nudged his horse's sides, sending him into a lope.

"No. It's just a stupid game." he yelled back. Goku followed suit and brought his bay up to speed.

"You watch. Some day, everyone's goin' to be playing that game."

Piccolo pulled his Stetson down farther on his head to keep it from flying into the wind. They both knew that the next town was only half a mile away. An easy gallop for their built Quarters.

The horses pranced on their hind legs as they paced each other. The next stop for them meant food, water, and a place to stay for the night.

Goku pulled his bandana over his mouth as Piccolo pulled in front of him and placed a hand on top of his hat. He hollered out toward the setting sun. They finally got a run in for the day. He stood up in the saddle and leaned over the bay's neck, letting his black mane whip into his face. After sitting all day, it was good to stand up...in a sense.

Piccolo noticed his paint's ears tip to the side. First the black one, then the white one.

"What is it, Phsy?" he whispered. The horse's ears twitched at his owner's voice but otherwise pointed in the same direction. Piccolo straightened, then pulled on the reins, slowing Phsy down. The paint stomped and snorted.

Goku pulled up beside him, his horse also showing it's disapproval.

"What's the matter?" he asked. Piccolo scanned the still surroundings.

"Something's up." he said simply. Goku sighed.

"Come on. We don't need anymore trouble. Let's just go on, get us a room, and sleep for the night." he nudged his horse, who took a few steps then stopped. It's head shot up, almost busting Goku's nose from his crouched position.

"What now, Trigger? You were all gung ho a while ago." The horse still didn't budge. It was then that the two men noticed the dust rising in the north.

"What is that?" Goku asked, shielding his eyes from the setting sun.

"Don't know." Piccolo replied. Phsy lowered his head and snorted, sending dust flying beneath his muzzle.

"Maybe it's just a herd of wild horses." Goku said. He tried nudging Trigger again to make him go. He only shook his mane and danced in spot.

"The horses don't usually act this way towards wild horses." Piccolo said. "It's something else."

The watched as the whirlwind of dust grew bigger and soon a pair of white gleaming horses broke from the blurred horizon and burst across the land at neck-breaking speeds. A coach followed closely behind the horses.

Goku and Piccolo were yanked from side to side as their horses bucked and darted. They pulled on the reins trying to get them under control.

It was then that they heard a high pitched scream coming from the disappearing coach.

"Damsel in distress!" Goku smiled as he turned Trigger in circles to calm him down.

"You just love all that movie crap, don't you." Piccolo sneered. "Alright. Let's go." he dug his spurs in Phsy who jumped into a gallop and sped toward the racing coach and team.

"No wait. I have an idea!" Goku said, stopping Piccolo.

"What?! We don't really have time to think this out!"

"No. Hear me out. Okay. You and Phsy run down there and catch up with the coach."

"That was kind of what I was going to do!" Piccolo yelled. He gathered the reins in case this turned out to be stupid.

"Wait! Wait! After you catch up with it. I'll instant transmission me and Trigger down to you! Get it?" Goku said excitedly. Piccolo glared at him.

"Instant what?" he asked.

"Goku shrugged. "I don't know. I just made it up. It sounded right."

Piccolo growled. "You idiot!!" He once again urged the paint forward, sending it into a break-neck speed.

"Hell yeah." Goku said. He once again grabbed his Stetson as Trigger reared and then followed after the black and white Quarter horse.

Piccolo and Goku's bodies flowed with the horses as they quickly gained on the coach. The horse's nostrils flared as their hooves slammed into the earth propelling them forward.

Goku yelled out of pure joy. "There's a reason we call you Trigger, baby!" he yelled to his horse. The bay snorted in return and bunched his muscles to gain the coach. His legs became a black blur as he came up right behind one of the white horses haunches.

Piccolo appeared in the space between the coach and the horses on the other side of Goku.

"Well there's a reason we call my horse Phsyco!" he yelled over. He reached for a strap that laid on the horses lean back.

Goku grinned at Piccolo. "That ain't got nothing to do with speed!"

A window behind Goku flew open and a blue head popped out.

"Who are you?!" the woman cried. The wind whipped her hair out of her face giving Goku a full view of her features.

"Just the sexy cowboys who are fixing to save you." he joked. And with that he jumped off of Trigger and onto the axle between the two white horses. This frightened them even more, making them build their speed. Trigger still ran beside them, going faster now that he was free of Goku's weight. He angled in front of the white horses and Phsy did the same. Piccolo grabbed a hold of the horse's bit and pushed back. White foam lathered on his hand where it came out of the white horse's mouth.

"Hey Piccolo! These horses are kind of small." Goku said. He compared them to Trigger, who was a couple of hands taller and had way more muscle.

A scream from inside the coach stopped his wondering. He looked forward and his eyes bulged out. In front of them loomed a cliff.

"Goku. I don't think now is the time to be talking about stuff. We're going to meet our maker if we don't stop this." Piccolo yelled. He gradually slowed Phsy down and Trigger followed, herding the horses like he was taught to. Goku grabbed the fly-away reins and leaned back, pulling on the horse's bits.

The small white horses craned their necks and gave into the reins coming to a stop. Their hooves slid, coming closer to the edge. Goku jumped down and dug his heels into the ground to help them to a stop.

Goku and Piccolo squeezed their eyes shut as the cliff grew narrow. Screams, human and horse, filled their ears.

Goku jerked forward and sprawled over the axle as his spurs caught in the ground. He tripped forward and jerked the horses to a stop with them. Phsy and Trigger pulled back right before they reached the edge, sending rocks over the side. Piccolo stared down at his possible doom and sighed. He slid off Phsy and then kissed the horses muzzle.

"You are a great horse." he whispered. "You too." he said as Trigger nudged his arm.

Goku pulled his spurs out of the ground and got up when the blue haired woman stomped around the coach. Her hair was frazzled and her face was red.

"What do you think you were doing?" she said in a voice that was clearly Yankee.

"Well, uh, savin' you." Goku said as if it was the most obvious thing ever.

She ran over to the white horses and stroked each one.

"You could have hurt my prize mares." she said angrily. A lightbulb went off in Goku's head.

"Mares!! That's why they're so small." he said as he stroked the nose of one. His hand was slapped by the woman's gloved one.

"Get your dirty hands and your dirty mixed breeds away from my mares!" she squealed. Piccolo growled at the insult and from her voice.

"Now look here." he said. "Our horses are pure-bred Quarter horses and I think you should be more grateful to use and them since we saved your life.

She ran a hand over her hair and pursed her lips. "Well, alright. I guess it's okay."

Goku cocked an eyebrow and then glanced at Piccolo.

"So...how exactly did you and your horses get to runnin' away like that Miss...?"

"Briefs. Bulma Briefs. Well, me and my precious mares were trotting along going to a show. A horse show. You do know what those are. They're for registered and refined horses." she cockily. Phsy snorted and stomped. Bulma continued anyway. "But then we stopped. And I looked out the window, called to Yamcha, who is my coach driver, but he wasn't in his seat. These two were making a fuss." she said patting the white's necks. "Then, I was pulled out of the coach by the bandits, who took me to their leader. He was a short man and his hair stuck up in a weird fashion...kind of like yours." she said, pointing to Goku.

Piccolo glanced at Goku.

"Vegeta." he said. "That's the only big gang around these parts." Bulma nodded.

"That's him. Well anyway. He wanted my prize horses and I wasn't going to let him get my pretties, so the next chance I got I kneed the two holding me jumped in the carriage and whipped the horses through the driver's window." she finished proudly. "And then I came upon you two." she sneered.

Piccolo tipped his hat then took it off. "Ma'am. Somehow I don't think Vegeta was lookin' to get you mares."

She gasped. "It had to have been. That's the only thing the poor little 'ole me has." she said innocently.

Somehow Piccolo didn't believe that either. But that, he kept to himself. He looked at Goku. "What do you think."

Goku put his bandana back up on his forehead and slapped on his Stetson. "I think we're gonna go find Vegeta. I've been waiting for a reason to go after him." he put his foot in the stirrup and hauled himself onto Trigger.

"About time for another good run, don't you say?" he smiled holding out a hand toward Bulma.

"What?" She asked. Goku nodded behind him. Piccolo watched where he once again sat on top of Phsy.

"Oh no. I'm riding one of my own and the other will follow. I came all the way to Arkansas with my mares and I'm am not leaving with out them." She turned on her heel and stood by her horses.

"It's gonna get dark soon." Piccolo mentioned, motioning toward the sun that had almost completely disappeared, sending shadows over the land.

"I'm a big girl." Bulma said defiantly.

"There's snakes." Goku added. Bulma's eyes bulged and she quickly started unbuckling her horses from the coach and axle. She went to the department under the coach and grabbed a saddle, riding bridle, halter and lead rope. She strapped the saddle to the larger one's back along with the bridle and placed the halter on the other. She got into the English saddle and fixed her skirts and bodice, which Goku now noticed almost made her chest burst out from the top.

"You gonna lead him by hand?" Piccolo asked, tipping his head toward the haltered horse.

"Her." Bulma corrected, fixing her gloves. "And yes. Why not?" She asked, annoyed. Piccolo shrugged and clicked his tongued, setting Phsy off at a walk. They headed in the opposite direction of the cliff right as the sun completely disappeared.

Okay. So that took forever...but I was determined to finish it TODAY!!!! Read and review, please!!


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